I looked down from my apartment balcony and saw a discarded pizza box on the pavement, flattened, no doubt, by one of the behemoth commercial vehicles that frequent the back ally. This pizza box was adorned with the boldest yellow and greens, announcing its brightness on this grey, January 23rd in Vancouver. Of these small reminders of color this winter, there will be few. Of these endless dreary days in store for the next three months, there will be countless.

I am neither unaware of, nor ignoring the recent snowfalls in the city. In fact, colorless sprawl of houses that I see when I look out my window are a loud reminder that the snow that had covered everything for the past week disappeared in one evening this past Friday. Now what?

Well, as any 5-year-plus resident of this city will tell you, you can expect a large serving of dreary, grey days between now and sometime in March. As a person who is adversely affected by weather of this kind, I am on a frequent quest for a cure for that which ails me. And what do we have? The two events marked on the calendar (three, including Martin Luther King Day, if you’re an American) during this time of year are Chinese New Year and Valentines Day. But unfortunately, both of these days carry with them an air of exclusivity. So aside from the welcoming from the 4000th Chinese year, or going through the motions of a romantic night on your calendar put there by Hallmark, there isn’t any reprieve!

I cant possibly be alone in my fear and loathing of rainy Vancouver winters. In fact, I would guess that Lower Mainland sales of Prozac begin to surge drastically starting January 2nd. A city-wide, or province-wide, or nation-wide celebration of some kind should be undertaken by those in power…oh wait. Something of that kind took place in June, and…oh yeah, now I remember.

So. There we have it. We are destined to spend winter after winter in the rainy confines of the city, and if an event is organized to help forget about this reality for one day, you can count on lunatics who are either drunk, or raving mad due to the excessive use of plastic cups at the event, will come along and selfishly ruin everybody’s day. Race you to Seattle!